How to Sit Quietly With Yourself: The Ultimate Guide

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A Note from Mari

Learning to sit quietly with yourself—your own heart and your own thoughts—is the first and most important step in developing a relationship with yourself. There’s no way around it. Unfortunately, the world we live in doesn’t value stillness and often makes it incredibly hard to prioritize. That’s why we must return to this practice time and time again, as we can find ourselves disconnected faster than we realize.

When sitting quietly feels too overwhelming, I find it helpful to simplify the process. I might sit in my rocking chair, look out the window with a warm beverage, or listen to the soothing sounds of nature. Slowly but surely, this gentle approach helps me reconnect—to hear my own thoughts and feel my own heart. It’s in those moments that I feel at home again, grounded in my body and my being.

This practice is a gift we give ourselves, no matter how many times we must begin again. It’s always worth it, because we cannot build anything on quicksand.

Introduction

Why Sitting Quietly Matters

Sitting quietly with yourself is more than just a pause in a busy day; it’s the foundation of a relationship with yourself. In these moments of stillness, you reconnect with the person you truly are beneath the layers of roles, obligations, and expectations.

Learning to sit quietly with yourself is like learning to read your inner compass. In the small moments of stillness, you begin to recognize subtle signals—what feels right, what feels off, what needs attention. Without this practice, it becomes far harder to navigate life’s bigger questions. If you can’t hear your own voice in the calm, how will you trust it in the storm? Sitting quietly strengthens your ability to tune into this inner guidance, making it a reliable tool when life presents its inevitable challenges and crossroads.

Sitting quietly isn’t just about finding peace in the present—it’s about creating a lasting connection with yourself. This connection becomes an anchor in times of chaos and a source of joy in moments of calm. It reminds you that, no matter how noisy life gets, you can always return to the quiet within.

Ultimately, this practice is a gentle invitation to meet yourself where you are. In the stillness, you discover that you are not alone. There is a part of you—steadfast and patient—always ready to listen, understand, and embrace. Sitting quietly is the beginning of that connection, and it can transform the way you navigate your life.

How to Start: The First Steps

If sitting quietly feels intimidating, that’s okay. Like any new practice, it takes time to feel comfortable. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s starting where you are, with what feels possible.

Find a place where interruptions are unlikely. This could be a cozy corner of a room, a spot by a window, or even a bench in a quiet park. Make the space inviting by adding elements that bring comfort, such as a soft cushion, a blanket, or a warm drink nearby.

Begin with just 2–5 minutes. Knowing there’s a defined end point can make the practice feel more manageable. A timer with a soothing tone ensures that timekeeping doesn’t become a distraction.

There’s no need to sit cross-legged or in any particular posture. Sit in a chair, on a cushion, or even lie down if that feels best. The goal is to be comfortable enough to focus on being still without physical discomfort.

Sitting quietly doesn’t have to look or feel a certain way. It’s not about achieving a state of bliss or clearing the mind entirely. Simply allow yourself to be present with whatever arises.

What to Do While Sitting Quietly

For many, the biggest question is: What am I supposed to do? The beauty of this practice is that there is no "right" answer. Sitting quietly is about being rather than doing, but here are a few approaches to help guide the experience.

Bring attention to the natural rhythm of the breath. Feel the rise and fall of the chest, the sensation of air entering the nostrils, and the gentle release as you exhale. There’s no need to change the breath—just observe it as it is.

Tune in to the sensations in your body. Notice the weight of your body against the chair or floor, the texture of the fabric against your skin, or the ambient temperature. This physical grounding can anchor you in the present moment.

Rather than trying to stop thoughts, allow them to come and go like clouds passing in the sky. Notice them without judgment or attachment. 

Pay attention to the sounds around you—the hum of the refrigerator, the rustle of leaves, or even the subtle sound of your own breath. This practice of deep listening can create a sense of stillness and connection.

Engaging the Senses

For those who find silence intimidating, engaging the senses can provide a gentle entry point into stillness. This approach encourages presence through tangible, grounding experiences:

• Sight: Light a candle or gaze at a natural scene, such as trees swaying in the wind.
• Sound: Listen to calming sounds, like a ticking clock, gentle rainfall, or soft instrumental music.
• Touch: Hold a warm cup of tea, feel the texture of a soft blanket, or place a hand on the heart as a comforting gesture.
• Smell: Use an essential oil or incense to create a calming ambiance.
• Taste: Savor a piece of chocolate or a sip of herbal tea slowly, focusing on the sensations.

These sensory practices can act as a bridge to sitting quietly, making the experience more tangible and less abstract.

Incorporating Gentle Movement

For those who find sitting still too challenging, incorporating gentle movement can help bridge the gap to stillness. Practices such as stretching, swaying, or slow walking allow for a connection with the body while easing into a quieter state of mind. For example:

• Stretching: Simple movements like shoulder rolls or seated forward folds can release tension.
• Walking: A slow, mindful walk, focusing on the sensation of each step, can ground and calm the mind.
• Rocking: Sitting in a rocking chair and gently swaying can mimic the soothing rhythm of being cradled.

These practices invite presence while accommodating the need for movement.

   Related Post:

• How a Rocking Chair Can Improve Your Wellbeing

What to Do with Racing Thoughts

When you sit quietly, your thoughts may feel louder than ever. This can feel unsettling, but it’s part of the process. Instead of resisting the noise, approach it with curiosity. Imagine your thoughts as clouds passing across the sky—acknowledge them, but let them drift by.

If certain thoughts feel heavy or persistent, try naming them: “Oh, there’s worry,” or “There’s planning again.” Naming your thoughts can take the intensity out of them, helping you see them as separate from who you are.

What If It Feels Too Hard?

For some, sitting quietly may initially feel overwhelming. If this happens, try these gentle adjustments:

Focus on something tangible, like the sensation of your hands resting on your lap or the texture of the fabric beneath you. You can also direct your attention to sounds, such as birds chirping or the hum of a household appliance. Physical grounding helps bring awareness to the here and now, making the quiet feel less intimidating.

If stillness feels overwhelming, try slow, mindful movements to ease into the practice. Rocking gently in a chair or swaying slightly can create a comforting rhythm that helps settle the mind. This gentle movement allows you to experience stillness in a way that feels safe and soothing.

Silence can feel stark at first, so consider introducing a supportive element. Listen to ambient nature sounds, calming music, or a guided relaxation track to ease the transition into quiet moments. These tools act as a bridge, helping to soften the experience of stillness while you get accustomed to it.

Reading can provide a structured way to ease into quiet time with yourself. Choose a calming book—perhaps poetry, a reflective memoir, or something with gentle wisdom—and focus fully on the act of turning pages and absorbing the words. This practice anchors you in the present and fosters a sense of calm without requiring complete stillness right away.

Remind yourself that sitting quietly is a skill to be nurtured over time, not something that must come naturally. Feeling restless, distracted, or even frustrated is part of the journey, not a sign of failure. Treat yourself with kindness, celebrating the effort you’re making to care for your inner well-being.

   Related Post:

• Relax & Rest with These 7 Relaxing Nature Sounds

Common Myths About Sitting Quietly

1. “I Don’t Have Time”
   Even a single minute of quiet sitting can be beneficial. It’s not about the duration but the intention.

2. “I’m Not Good at This”
   There is no right or wrong way to sit quietly. Success is simply in showing up.

3. “I Can’t Stop My Thoughts”
   The goal isn’t to stop thoughts but to sit with them without judgment. Thoughts are natural and part of the process. 

Extending the Practice Into Everyday Life

Sitting quietly isn’t limited to formal sessions. Once you’ve begun cultivating stillness, you can weave it into your daily routine:

• Morning Moments
  Spend a few quiet minutes after waking, before reaching for your phone or starting your day.

• Pausing Between Tasks
  Take a brief moment to sit quietly during transitions, whether it’s between work calls or after finishing a chore.

• Evening Wind-Down
  Use quiet time to reflect on the day before heading to bed, allowing yourself to release any lingering tension.

Building a Lifelong Practice

Quiet sitting is a practice that evolves. What begins as a brief pause may grow into a cherished part of daily life. Over time, it may naturally lead to other practices, such as journaling, meditation, or creative expression.

The key is consistency. Even on busy days, carving out a small moment for stillness reinforces the habit. It’s a reminder that amidst the chaos of life, there is always a quiet space to return to—a sanctuary within.

Final Reflections

The art of sitting quietly with oneself is both simple and profound. It doesn’t require special tools, training, or circumstances—only a willingness to pause and be present. In this practice, there is no agenda, no goal to achieve, only the gentle act of showing up for oneself.

For those overwhelmed by life, this small practice can be a lifeline, a way to reconnect with inner strength and calm. It’s a reminder that stillness is not an absence, but a fullness—a way of being deeply present with oneself and the world.