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PREFACE BY MARI

In my 40s now, I often reflect on my twenties—a decade so heavily romanticized in our culture. Each time I share with a young woman that the 20s are overrated, I am surprised and happy to see the relief wash over them as they thank me. I remember the intense pressure I felt to chart out my entire life, to make monumental decisions that were supposed to set the trajectory for my future. It was overwhelming. Now, using my platform, I want to spread the message that your 20s are just one chapter in the vast book of your life. They are not the be-all and end-all. Like any chapter, they have their highs and lows, and it's vital to remember that many more chapters are yet to come.

 

The Overrated 20s: Uncovering the Myths of a Glorified Decade

As you scroll through your social media feeds, it’s easy to feel like your 20s are supposed to be the golden years—full of adventure, success, and self-discovery. Society often paints this decade as the pinnacle of your life, where every choice is monumental and every experience is defining. However, the reality is often far less glamorous and far more stressful. Here's why the excessive celebration of the 20s might be overrated and how a more balanced view can lead to better wellness.

 

1. THE PRESSURE TO HAVE IT ALL FIGURED OUT 

There's a pervasive myth that by the end of your 20s, you should have your life perfectly mapped out: career success, stable relationships, and a clear sense of identity. However, life is rarely so linear. The pressure to meet these milestones can lead to stress and a feeling of inadequacy. Understanding that growth is a lifelong process can alleviate this pressure and open the door to exploring varied interests and paths without undue stress.

2. FINANCIAL INSTABILITY

Despite what Instagram might show, many people in their 20s face significant financial challenges. From student loans to entry-level salaries, the financial freedom associated with this decade is often a mirage. This financial instability can limit opportunities and add stress to an already turbulent life phase. Recognizing this can shift your focus from feeling behind to understanding that financial stability is built over time, and the 20s are just the starting line.

3. THE MYTH OF ENDLESS FUN 

Movies and social media often depict the 20s as a non-stop party. While there’s nothing wrong with enjoying life, this portrayal can overshadow the decade's difficulties and the loneliness many feel amidst the chaos. Balancing fun with personal responsibilities is key, and it's important to recognize that meaningful satisfaction often comes from overcoming challenges, not avoiding them.

4. OVEREMPHASIS ON FINDING "THE ONE"

The idea that you need to find your perfect romantic partner in your 20s is a common narrative that can diminish the value of other forms of personal growth. The focus on romantic achievement can overshadow personal and professional development. Embracing this time to discover more about yourself and how to relate healthily to others can be far more rewarding.

5. THE CAREER CLOCK 

There’s a false sense of urgency to climb the career ladder quickly within this decade. This can lead to job dissatisfaction and burnout. It’s beneficial to explore different career options and understand that career trajectories are often non-linear. Learning new skills and adapting to various industries can be more valuable long-term than sticking to a less fulfilling but more straightforward career path early on. 

6. SOCIAL MEDIA DISTORTIONS

Social media platforms can distort reality, presenting an idealized image of what your 20s should look like. This constant comparison can detract from genuine life experiences and personal achievements that are less photogenic but equally important. Learning to disconnect from these idealized portrayals can lead to a more authentic and satisfying life.

7. FOMO (FEAR OF MISSING OUT)

The 20s are prime time for FOMO, driven by seeing peers achieving milestones and having experiences that you might not yet have had. This can lead to anxiety and a sense of rushing through life rather than enjoying where you currently are. Embracing individuality and realizing that everyone's path is different can mitigate these feelings. 

8. THE LEARNING CURVE OF SELF-IDENTITY 

While there is an emphasis on defining who you are in your 20s, it can actually be a very confusing period for forming a self-identity. The exploration and eventual understanding of your personal identity is a complex process that does not need to be solidified in this decade.

9.  THE MYTH OF THE "BEST TIME OF YOUR LIFE" 

Calling the 20s the best time of your life sets a problematic precedent. It suggests a peak from which everything else is a decline. This myth can cloud judgment, making people rush into decisions or stick with paths that are not genuinely fulfilling, fearing that their prime is slipping away.

 

Achieving a Healthier, More Balanced Approach to Life in Your 20s

Your 20s are a formative time, but they don't have to be fraught with pressure and anxiety. By adopting these following strategies, you can cultivate a more balanced, fulfilling lifestyle that values personal growth and wellbeing as much as professional and social achievements. This approach not only enhances your current quality of life but also sets a strong foundation for the decades to follow. Embrace this time for its potential for fun and light-hearted exploration, making the most of the adventures that await.

1. Shift Your Perspective on Milestones

While society often portrays the 20s as the pinnacle of life, it’s important to remember that this decade is just the beginning of your adult journey. You don’t need to achieve all societal milestones by 25. If you work until you’re 65, you have about 45 years to build a career, giving you plenty of time to evolve professionally and personally. Breathe easy, and remember that achieving certain milestones early doesn't mean you're done. Life is not a sprint but a marathon. You'll constantly set new goals and face new challenges. Your life evolves and changes, always moving forward even after you’ve reached one milestone.

2. Develop Financial Literacy

Understanding your finances is crucial. Educate yourself about budgeting, saving, and investing. Tools like budgeting apps can help manage your finances effectively, reducing stress and providing a sense of control and security.

3. Prioritize Mental Health

Make mental health a priority by establishing routines that include mindfulness practices such as meditation, journaling, or yoga. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help if you feel overwhelmed. Therapy can be a valuable tool for navigating the challenges and changes during this decade.

4. Cultivate a Supportive Network

Surround yourself with supportive friends and mentors who encourage your growth and wellbeing. A robust support system can provide guidance, perspective, and a sense of belonging, all of which are crucial for mental and emotional health.

5. Embrace Learning, Flexibility, and Discovery

View your 20s as a dynamic learning period filled with adventure. Be open to new experiences and be flexible in your plans. This openness can lead to unexpected opportunities and insights, reducing the fear of missing out and the pressure to have your life fully planned out. Engage in activities that fuel your curiosity and bring joy, such as traveling, exploring new hobbies, or meeting people from different backgrounds.

6. Maintain Physical Health

Physical health is deeply interconnected with mental and emotional wellbeing. Regular physical activity, balanced nutrition, and adequate sleep are foundational to maintaining energy and focus. Find a physical activity you enjoy and integrate it into your weekly routine to keep your body and mind sharp.

7. Practice Mindful Consumption

Be mindful of the media and content you consume, especially on social media. Regular digital detoxes can help maintain a healthier perspective and reduce the stress of comparisons. Focus on content that uplifts and educates rather than detracts from your sense of self-worth.

 

Beyond the 20s: Embracing the Journey Ahead

Life certainly doesn't come to a halt as you wave goodbye to your 20s. The end of this decade is not a final destination but a launchpad into years rich with potential for deeper satisfaction and achievement. In your 30s and beyond, many find a greater sense of stability, both personally and professionally, as the experiences of their 20s translate into wisdom and self-assuredness. This is a time when many cultivate lasting relationships, achieve career milestones, and perhaps start families, all with a clearer understanding of who they are and what they truly value. The coming decades offer an opportunity to build on the foundation laid in your youth, with the potential to enjoy the fruits of your labors and refine the art of living well, guided by the lessons learned during those supposedly “golden” years.

 

CONCLUSION

Your 20s can indeed be a time of exploration and fun, but they don’t have to be the pinnacle of your life. By recognizing the unrealistic expectations and pressures, and by focusing on personal development and well-being, we can start to see this decade as just one part of a larger, more fulfilling journey. Let’s redefine success to include happiness, health, and personal growth, making every decade one to look forward to, without the fear of peaking too soon.